Just a few hours ago, I was sitting behind a counter, playing the role of a teller at the bank. In the past, the mere idea that I was there, not doing what I really wanted to do; perform, write, paint, sew...; made me feel defeated. I looked at my present situation and thought I had failed. I've graduated 3 years ago already, shouldn't I be doing what I want to by now? And I am now beginning to understand that it is that exact act of looking at my present moment and feeling trapped that was the problem. It was not the situation itself, but my attitude towards it. Yes, I know I should feel lucky I even have a job. And I do now. There are those less fortunate but I don't like to think of them to make myself feel better.
I've been reading a lot about the power of our thoughts, our mind and the images we hold within ourselves, whether conscious or subconscious and the impact that has on our reality. I've started studying "The Science of Being Rich". Think what you will, but it is freakin' awesome. It is pretty much the extension (and a much more full and much less cheesy) of "The Secret". It is mainly narrated by Bob Proctor and he says that most people look at their present circumstances and feel defeated or guilty or sad or whatever may be. What they don't realize is that their present state is only the result of their past actions, it is not who they are NOW and who they can become. And if people keep looking at their present state and feel trapped by it, they will remain in their present state and wonder why nothing changes. It is only until we begin to live larger than our present selves will we grow and evolve and achieve what we truly want.
I started doing that. I am forcing myself to change my perspective anytime I am aware of a negative thought or feeling. And that simple act is changing things for me. Not only am I happier and feel more fulfilled, I feel inspired when I look around. This of course, puts me in a state of gratitude (hence, my first blog and the reason I started it). And it is gratitude that will begin to attract things I want to me and I to it. This is not to mean that effective action is not needed. Of course it is! We can't just sit and dream about big things without moving our asses towards it. That wouldn't be fair. And now that I have started to do these little things, small things are manifesting, kind of like these doors I never knew existed began to show up in my life. They have shown themselves and cracked themselves open and it is up to me whether I want to open the door and walk through it.
Just last week, I was working at a branch downtown (I move around to different branches around the city) and served two customers who came together. They were both musicians. Being an artist, I've gotten into the habit of networking and so that's what I did. I told them about my one-woman show and some initiatives I have for it. I said that I am in the middle of adapting the script to fit radio and long and behold! One of them worked for CBC Radio as a host. She mentioned I had a great voice and I should get in contact with them to do some work. The other musician, also a producer and composer, gave me his contact as well and mentioned he could introduce me to people who could help me towards my goal. I'll be having coffee with him very soon.
Now just today, I worked at another branch. A customer came in for a deposit. It was a business account and I asked what kind of business. Turns out he works as a recruiter for film, television and theatre and is very active in those communities, working as a director on boards and such. I of course, pitched myself again and talked about my play and intentions with it. I looked down at his cheque and it was from CBC Radio!!!
Coincidence? Luck? I choose to call it fate. I really believe things happen for a reason and I feel myself aligning with some sort of force that's working with me. I believe every person we meet as something to teach us and we to them. But these can only happen if we are open to these moments of alignment.
It takes work. It really does. To stay positive, to be grateful, to stay open, genuine, connected to one's purpose, to stay focused... I struggle with it every day. Another reason why I started this blog. To force myself to take a moment, just a moment to be present and reflective with my thoughts until it becomes a habit.
Did you know it takes 30 days, 30 consecutive days of doing the same thing, before it becomes habit???
This is day 7 for me. For what, you ask? For studying "The Science of Getting Rich" and the laws of the Universe. Looking forward to day 30.
And those are my thoughts tonight :)